If you were to write your own eulogy today, what would you say about yourself?
Family Passing On
My last two grandparents passed away in 2020. My mom’s mom, Grandma Hadley, passed in July, and my dad’s mom, Grandma Hawkins, in December. You all will remember that we were amid a global pandemic then, so their funerals were a bit different out of necessity. We held viewings for both at funeral homes, being mindful of how many were present (my family didn’t accompany me to either due to capacity limitations). The services themselves were held at cemeteries with appropriate social distancing.
My Own Eulogy?
My dad’s brother said something at Grandma Hawkins’s viewing that stuck with me. He shared that writing the eulogy was a challenge because there were many small details about my grandma’s life that he didn’t remember. His council to those listening was to write your own eulogy and to update it every year. He said, “Your kids will thank you for it.” Admittedly, I have not done that yet.
If Today Was My Last Day
A few months ago I came across something that took the idea of writing your own eulogy in another direction. In an opinion piece published in the Deseret News, Holly Richardson counseled to, “Write out what you want people to say about you at the end of your life — and then focus on making those things reality.”1 She went on to say, “If you aren’t sure where to start when writing your own eulogy, you might begin by asking yourself the question Steve Jobs asked himself every day for 33 years: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’” Jobs said if the answer to that question was “No” for multiple days in a row he needed to change something up.
3 Sentences
Another piece of advice I’ve heard takes the thought of writing your own eulogy one step further. While addressing a group of young adults in 1984, Russell Nelson asked, “What would you like said about you at your funeral? Or, if you were to write your own eulogy and you could have only three sentences (no big flowery speeches, please), what would you want to say?”2 He then told the young adults that his three sentences would be:
- I was able to render service of worth to my fellowmen.
- I had a fine family.
- I evidenced unshakable faith in God and lived accordingly.
Mr. Nelson is a world-renowned cardiothoracic surgeon with 10 children who recently celebrated his 100th birthday. How he has lived since speaking with those young adults 40 years ago has only solidified his three sentences.
3 Reasons
In review, I’ve given three different reasons for writing a eulogy:
- So that your children don’t have to,
- To guide what you want to accomplish in life, and
- To make sure when all is said and done, those who come to honor you can see very succinctly who you became.
Writing your own eulogy might not be at the top of the list of things you’d like to do today. It might at first thought be pretty close to the bottom. Definitely more of a bother than a blessing. As I mentioned, I haven’t yet written my own. But perhaps it’s something worth doing, considering the benefits that may come.
What Would You Say?
Circling back around to how we began. If you were to write out your own eulogy today, what would you say about yourself? What would you include in your three sentences? (Feel free to share them in the comments below.)
References
- Richardson H. Write your own eulogy. Deseret News; Aug 15, 2024. Accessed 16 Aug. https://www.deseret.com/opinion/2024/08/15/write-your-own-eulogy/
- Nelson RM. Begin with the end in mind. Sep. 30, 1984. https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/russell-m-nelson/begin-end-mind/
