Written by Jeremy Hawkins
Sydnei Littrell is currently a second-year graduate student in the Master of Science in Athletic Training program at Colorado Mesa University. I have worked with her as a professor and a mentor for a few years now and was grateful for the opportunity to interview her for this blog post. Inspired by her positivity and strength, I came away from that interview with an excitement to share those things with you.
Emotions Weren’t A Thing
Sydnei grew up in northern Montana. Coming to school at CMU last fall meant diving into the unknown and leaving her comforts behind. That came with its own unique set of challenges and struggles. She was quickly reminded that you can’t always avoid the hard things in life. Sometimes you just have to go through them.
Unfortunately the challenges that came with Sydnei’s new adventure were the least of her concerns. Shortly after she made the move to Colorado she was bombarded with multiple other struggles. First she ended a long-term relationship with her boyfriend. On the heels of that heartache she learned that her granddad’s cancer had returned. (This was especially difficult as she is very close to her granddad.) Sydnei was devastated and heartbroken. She turned to alcohol and marijuana to cope. Being raised in a home where “emotions weren’t a thing”, she did not know what else to do.
Life-Changing Help
At that time I had Sydnei in class. We were using Lynnie’s 90-day Gratitude Journal as an added part of our curriculum. Sydnei believed that “mental health doesn’t exist” and didn’t take the journal seriously. Fast forward to the beginning of this year. A series of events made her realize that she needed a more positive outlook: her granddad said he was done fighting cancer, her mom made some choices that seemed to contradict how she had raised Sydnei, Sydnei was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety, and PTSD, and she realized that she was still struggling with the breakup from the fall. She started using the journal more seriously and in February she began seeing a therapist. Both helped immensely. They allowed Sydnei to view mental health differently and they taught her coping mechanisms to use in place of alcohol and marijuana. They were, in a sense, life-changing.
Finding The Blessings
Since March, Sydnei has begun taking her mental health much more seriously. She now recognizes the importance of mental self-care and believes that this shift in mindset has resulted in the following blessings:
- She takes the time to find something to be thankful for every day
- She has re-established a relationship with God and recognizes and is grateful for the things that He has given her
- She has learned to let her anger/frustration out in healthy ways rather than allowing herself to take her feelings out on others
- She has learned to avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms by focusing on healthy ones, including regular exercise and positive interpersonal relationships
- She now uses a gratitude journal nearly every day, usually at the end of the day, and will often write things on her mirror to help her have a positive outlook
Going On A Bear Hunt
I admire Sydnei’s ability to find the blessings that have resulted from her struggles. She has faced a lot. When I think about her experiences, my mind turns to the children’s book Going on a Bear Hunt. In this story, retold by Michael Rosen and illustrated by Helen Oxenbury, a family of five goes through multiple obstacles (long, wavy grass, a deep, cold river, thick, oozy mud, a big, dark forest, a swirling, whirling snowstorm, and a narrow, gloomy cave) in search of a bear. They find the bear and quickly backtrack to the safety of their home with the bear in pursuit.
What stands out to me in this story is that the family can’t go over, around, or under all of their obstacles. Instead, they have to face them head-on and go right through them. Sometimes life can be like that too. And while it’s not easy or fun to go through obstacles, that is when we learn, grow, and become. And it’s that process of learning, growing, and becoming that helps us begin to see hard things as blessings instead of bothers.
Doing Well
Today Sydnei is doing well. Yes, she still has struggles. She knows that sometimes you just have to go through hard things. But she now realizes she can face her struggles and come out on top. She’s able to see the blessings in her challenges and to find joy regardless of her circumstances, something she never would’ve anticipated even just a year ago. And that in and of itself is a blessing.
